When I graduated college and started working in the "Real World", I got bored with doing the same thing every single day. I got up at the same time, did the same job, and the weekends were so short that I never fully had time to recover for the next week. My loving family kindly reminded me that this was going to be a part of every day life for me for a while until I reached the fullest potential in my career that I wanted. A year later I was out of work, by my own fault though, and have actually had a "summer". No responsibilities except to feed my husband every night and make sure I take a shower each day.
Last week I literally cried to Dave out of boredom. I was so tired of not having anything to do, only spending money and not contributing to the bringing in of money, and waiting in anticipation for my new job and a word on acceptance of Grad school. Right now, I would give anything to return to my senior year of college where I was so busy I was pulling my hair out and extremely overcommited....of course, I'd take my husband with me.
That got me thinking...will I ever be content? When I start working, will I be bored with it in a year? Will I want to quit school if I get accepted because I get bored with it? What does it take to keep me happy and satisfied ( the obvious answer of Jesus aside)? Am I so wrapped up in worldly acknowledgment and busyness that I just can't be happy keeping a clean apartment and cooking dinner? What is it that I crave so about being busy, productive, and proactive?
Still nothing from UNT....at this point my pessimism is setting in and the world is ending in my eyes.
7 comments:
Karen,
Don't worry about grad school...no matter what happens, you can always try again.
As for the rest of your post, I think you've pointed out a serious problem in today's world. I just finishes a book that spoke of the "empty self" syndrome working into our culture. Unfortunately, this affects Christians like you and me all too often, as well. It is basically an overall thought-pattern and resulting life that is all about "me." By this, I don't mean to say that you are at all selfish in the normal way people mean that, and I am speaking of myself, too. Anyway, this sort of me-centered attitude results in a life that is all about entertainment of the self, living life through celebrities, not pushing for excellence, inactivity, boredom that results in busy-ness (I hope that makes since), etc. The book prescribes as the answer to this attack on the Christian life (since it is obviously directly opposed to a Christ-like life) the learning of spiritual disciplines, including developing a mature mind. He goes on to describe this as choosing to carefully study the issues that a Christian will face in general life, evangelism, and vocation. So, for you, there are tons of Christian books on living Christian-ly in your vocation. You might check one out and start to study. I think it will both equip you for further education in the field and get you excited about all that God is doing/wants to do in your field. In addition, you won't be so bored!
I hope this all came across life I want it to and not as a put-down or anything remotely close to it. I'm struggling with the implications of this new learning, myself.
In Christ!
You share a trait common to many who gravitate toward the communications fields... wanderlust. You're able to process so much and quickly put it into perspective. Don't look for jobs that sound easy. Look for challenges. Everyone gets tired and overwhelmed at their jobs from time-to-time. But if you find work that "makes a difference" somehow, somewhere that you're "needed," and is always pushing you just a little bit... I bet you'll feel like you're heading in the right direction.
I went through similar feelings like you're describing the year after I graduated (I was recruiting and BORED OUT OF MY SMALL MIND). I then worked at the newspaper. I was busier than I've ever been, but it was fun, challenging and made a difference to the readers. That "find one thing and do that and only that" is garbage to some folks. That's like saying everyone should wear blue because it looks good on most people.
Seek the Lord's will right now. Remember that it is only through an irritated muscle that we get a pearl, extreme heat refines gold and incredible pressure produces the most brilliant diamonds.
God has this time of rest for you for a purpose. Just read any of my posts back last summer, when I had no idea where I was supposed to be! God used that time to teach me some really neat things.
For someone as driven as you, it's hard not to have any more purpose than a few basics. But you've got a job about to get into full swing, so that will take some of the emptiness of the day away.
In the time you do have, ask God how to fill it. It could be a ministry at church, a ministry to someone you know, a hobby, or an extensive Bible study you wouldn't have been able to do otherwise.
Or you could come over and start my fall project for me. :)
Love ya!
I think you're asking really good questions, Karen. It's amazing how the Spirit can work on our hearts in any situation!
In response to Jon's comment, if you are interested in a great book on spiritual disciplines, Richard Foster's "A Celebration of Discipline" is really good.
And in response to Jim, I think he is spot on! I too was a communication major and definitely experience that wanderlust/easily distracted thing as well as the incredibly compelling urge to feel needed. That can be a good thing and a bad thing. Good when it leads you to actually be a servant, but bad when the desire to feel useful becomes more about self and less about others. I have had to learn this the REALLY hard way, just ask Mike! :)
Anyway, good insights here.
Wow...you younger generation are so very intelligent and insightful! I have nothing more to add except, come to lunch on Sunday, Dave & Karen...I have chicken and ribs.
love, mom
Forget my advice. Go for the chicken and ribs!
jimR75...I'm LOL as I type this last comment! I'm so glad Karen and Dave have you as a mentor and friend! They did come for chicken and ribs; and you could have come, too! I do hope I can meet you and your lovely wife and new baby soon. Hope baby and mother are doing well....
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