I live in Texas. My dad lives in Oregon. My sister lives in Tennessee (for now). My brother and his wife live in Pennsylvania (for now). My in-laws live in Arkansas. All my grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles are on the west coast. I live in Texas.
When I was younger I remember not wanting to live close to family. I don't really like Texas. It's way too hot, too big, everyone has Texas Pride that I think is silly. I wanted to move somewhere with more then one season and where people appreciated the simplicity of life. As I have grown up, gotten married, and been a minimum of 200 miles from my family, I realized that distance is the last thing I want, but I seem to be plagued by it.
Not having lived close to my extended family, I never really understood the importance of family. It wasn't till a dear friends wedding two July's ago that I realized how much I missed out on not having my family close by. She has family oozing out of every seam in her house. Cousins, Aunts and Uncles, grandparents, neices and nephews. All of them no further then an hour away, and all of the intricatley involved and knowledgable about each others lives. Two days before her wedding I sat in her living room in awe of the love that poured out of thin air.
I remember envying her and wishing that just for that night,I was part of the Voorhees family.
My family lives all over the country. While that is neat on the one hand, on the other it...well...plain out sucks. We all are in the "just starting out" phases in our lives so none of us have much money to visit, and plane tickets are expensive. And to make matters "worse", my siblings can't seem to stop moving. They both will be relocating again this coming fall, and I never even got to visit them in their current homes. I also found out that my siblings-in-law will be moving in the not too distant future. Who knew the North needed churches :>).
As Dave and get closer to starting our own family (but still not for a few more years...we have degrees to finish) I think about our kids having the same lives as I did. It saddens me to think that they might not know their aunts and uncles, cousins, or even paternal grandfather because of distance. Don't get me wrong....I am hugely proud and humbled by the success of my family. I wouldn't trade their success for having them live on the next block over. But it seems like the situation won't change, and that makes me sad. Who knows, maybe a world class philosophy school will open up the same time the Concert Master position at the Dallas Symphony does and everyone will come running back to Grapevine, TX. Back to home, back to me, back to everyone. In the meantime, I continue to be plagued by distance.
5 comments:
Sweetheart,
Excellent post. Yez, I too understand that feeling very much. It is not something I ever wanted, and don't like now. I think I will send you more on this from my heart in an email. Until then, thanks for being so open and honest. We love you and Dave (and yes, Dexter - smile) so very much. God bless you both today.
Love, Dad
I too, echo your comments. many reasons I cherish the visits, short and not very visit-some, of the weddings, and how I love reading your blogs, (the ones who continue to blog!) i feel like a can peak into your worlds and know some what little about your lives. love you much, and remember, grandma may not have a swimming pool, but we do!! carol
Oh, Karen. I wish I could reach out and give you a super big bear hug today. I am sorry that we are part of the family that live so far away! But I promise you that no matter where we live in years to come that we will always be a part of each others lives, making it a point to visit and write and talk on the phone and stay informed and love. We love you and miss you, too. I think I mentioned that we'd like to come home for a nice visit this summer. No definite plans yet but it is my heart's desire. If you want to come visit Philly before we move, come on girl! And wherever we go for Mike's PhD next fall, we're staying put for a few years at least, so you simply must come see us there. How about we just reserve this next Thanksgiving now? :) :) Big hugs,
Rachel
Hey there Karen.
You know, I remember feeling similarly a few years out of college. My feelings weren't centered on family so much - for my first several years out of college, the whole family was in Dallas - but I had formed so many close friendships which were reduced to email exchanges, and in the meantime I never saw those people I cared so much about. And I was single, so it's not like I had Rachel to talk to, and that also made it hard.
Things are somewhat similar on Rachel's side, too - her parents are in SS, and her brothers are in Chicago, and we are here.
It is hard and sad. At the same time, I can definitely look back and see how the Lord has been faithful to bring new friends along with the changes, and many of them have gone on to be specially dear. That's another way of looking at it - as things change, the chance for new people to enter our lives comes with it.
Just some thoughts. We can talk more over the phone some time. Love you.
The distancing of family has much to do with our day and time. People travel for school and work, the idea of living down the street from one another is difficult. But God fills the voids in our hearts. The friends we have met here (including your bro-in-law Jon & Lydia) have made the world of a difference. Plus with technology I don't feel as far away. I'm a phone call away from my wiggling 7 mo old niece and know that she will feel her auntie's love and presence in the days she gets older. The time we have when we are physically together are more special and not taken for granted. Maybe the distance makes us stronger.
Post a Comment