Big Sigh.
If I could only begin to express the business of the last few weeks since our three month post.
In a nutshell....

Dave went back to work. I'm working. Calvin is going to a nanny. We're contemplating some big career changes in our lives. There have been some changes at our church that have really been life altering. Oh, and on a daily basis I have to get to work early and leave late to make up the time that I take away for "mommy breaks."

Life right now is exhausting. It's busy and long and the days all run together. By Thursday morning I'm really feeling the fatigue, and Friday's after lunch I can barely keep my eyes open. Between work, home, church obligations, attempting to go to Jazzercise and finding a few spare minutes to call friends and see people we care about, it's all I can do to not go crazy. This balancing act is really difficult. And I don't feel like I'm balancing right now. It feels more like one side is tipped down really far and the scale isn't just going to tip, but fall over completely. I keep telling myself that it will become a new kind of normal, that eventually routine will set in, I'll adjust, and things won't be so crazy, but it's really hard to focus on that when it's 4:30 a.m. and Calvin wakes up to be fed.

Ah, Calvin. Such a sweet amazing little guy. He constantly makes Dave and I smile and we are amazed at how much he has moved into our lives like he was always meant to be there. He's growing and changing and developing a little personality. For instance, he HATES tummy time. Hates it. We'll put him on his tummy, he's fine for about 30 seconds, and then starts to grunt and groan which eventually turns into screams. Turn him over on his back and he is happy camper, especially if the TV is on to distract him.

Tummy time on the bed with mom and dad seems to be more enjoyable....

The Bumbo is a lifesaver right now. Calvin is generally an upright baby, preferring to be sitting up rather than laying down or even reclining. The bumbo sits on the dinning room table when I'm vacuuming or cooking dinner, sits on the bathroom counter when I need to get ready in the mornings, sits on the floor when we are just relaxing in the evening. It's magic right now.

 

 the new favorite toy? Burpcloth . It usually ends up in his mouth. Or on his head when daddy is being silly.

I get frustrated and tired and irritable from all of my responsibilities, and he just makes it all worth it. And then I get frustrated that I can't spend more time with him. But in the long run, all of this will seem like a small hurdle. and I know God gives us grace to handle all situations. And God gave us Calvin. So, the grace to handle Calvin will certainly come in abundance.