Back to the grindstone. Dave started school yesterday, and I start back to school tomorrow. It is my last academic year working on my Masters Degree. That means this time next year I will actually be able to enjoy the fall and not stress about papers, readings, and grades. I am so ready for an "adult" life.....a job that pays me more for my education, contributing to our household, and hopefully planning out a future including starting a family. While I am treated like an adult at school, I don't do the same things on a day to day basis that my peers do. While they are working, making money, raising kids, and contributing to their families, I read endless journal articles, write countless papers, and usually end up falling asleep in the afternoon because of boredom. I tend to not leave the house for days at a time, stay in my sweats and work out shorts, and can feel a bit depressed by the end of the week. I am ready for variety, adult interaction and conversation during the day, and responsibility that extends beyond feeding the dog. At work I am not treated as an adult. I have a boss who is overbearing and controlling, and the biggest responsibility I have is to make sure that my customers are "in and out in less than 3 minutes". I am so thankful that the Lord has provided for me in all ways so that I can further my education, but I am ready for the next phase of my life to begin. I am ready for adulthood. I am ready to excel.
What is so strange about these feelings is that a little over a year ago, I felt completely different. I had an opportunity to take a fantastic, well paying and very adult job. It would have given me everything I would have asked for in a career. As I considered going forward with it, I realized that I wasn't ready for responsibility. I liked being home and not doing much, just handling school work and the occasional work opportunity. I didn't want to give up my freedom. Now, almost 18 months later, I'd kill for that opportunity to come up again. I could say the same thing regarding my attitudes towards having kids. 18 months ago if we were to get pregnant, I think my initial reaction would have been fear rather than excitement. I didn't want kids 18 months ago, and now, if the Lord decided to perform such a miracle, I would welcome it with open arms. It's interesting to think about these things in my life and see how the Lord continues to change me, work in my life, grow me and mold me into a new person each day,even when I don't expect it. It makes me thankful that He is in charge and not me. If I had to do all this on my own, I'd be totally messed up!
If you feel so moved to comment, I would love to hear how the Lord has changed you.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
The Dentist
Twice now I have avoided "the shot" at the dentist while having a cavity filled.
You see...I detest the dentist. I detest all doctors, really. I am sure they are fine as people, but in their offices I don't like them. Why, might you ask, do I hate doctors of any kind? Well, I am a big frady cat and a monumental wimp. Anything that has the potential to cause me pain or discomfort makes my blood pressure soar (quite literally). I could elaborate on my doctor phobia, but we will save that for another post.
I had a dentist appointment today. The one thing that keeps me going to the dentist is my fear. I am so afraid of getting a cavity that I will not miss my 6 month check-up because I know that is a key part to good oral health. Usually, a week or two before my dentist appointment I start to examine my own teeth while brushing at night. I open my mouth, look way in the back to see if I can spot any black spots that might signify a cavity. Usually I can find something to be scared about. This time the blueberries I have been snacking on all summer have left some stains on my back molars, so I of course began to think that I was going to have a million cavities when I went to the dentist. Well, I didn't have a million cavities, but I did have one....and a tiny one at that.
Luckily it was surface enough that the dentist said they could try to fill it right then with out numbing me. I said "great", because the one thing I fear the most about cavities is the Novocaine shot. So they put me in the chair, take my blood pressure (which was something like 130/172...I think that's probably not the right reading I saw, but it was way high) and then the drilling begins. I did fine for first few drills. They were pretty much on the surface so I just felt a vibration. Then came the big one. I felt her push a little harder, meaning deeper, and I knew that I was going to feel something. When I kicked my right leg in the air, they could tell I had felt some pain. They asked me "do you want us to numb you?" I said "Well, are you going to have to do anything else like that again?" A quick check of my tooth and she said "no, I think we are pretty much done with the big spots". So I opted to continue to be a nervous wreck and let them finish. 5 minutes later I had cotton mouth like crazy, but I had managed to avoid the shot once again.
The first time this same thing happened I was a little girl...probably in 5th or 6th grade. I had gone for my cleaning and they found a cavity. It was a busy day, so they made me make another appointment to come back later in the week and have the cavity filled. That was torture. Knowing that in two days I had to go back to the dentist, and not just for a cleaning, made me cry myself to sleep that night. When the next appointment finally came, I walked back to the chair all by myself (they wouldn't let parent's back). I started to cry the moment I sat down in the throne of pain. The hygienist took some pity on me. She said that I could tell the doctor I was scared and he would be extra careful (yeah...riiiiiight). When the dentist finally came back and saw I was a sobbing, he asked me what I was afraid of. "The shot" I answered. He looked at my x-ray and said "this is pretty close to the surface. We can start without numbing you, and if you feel pain, we will stop and numb you." I felt slightly relieved and said ok. The same thing happened as today. Slow, easy surface drills first, then one gigantic deep push and I felt it. I squealed a bit, but the dentist said "that's ok, we're done anyways". so I avoided the shot once, and today I did it again.
Tomorrow I have an eye doctor appointment. Are there any shots at the eye doctor??
You see...I detest the dentist. I detest all doctors, really. I am sure they are fine as people, but in their offices I don't like them. Why, might you ask, do I hate doctors of any kind? Well, I am a big frady cat and a monumental wimp. Anything that has the potential to cause me pain or discomfort makes my blood pressure soar (quite literally). I could elaborate on my doctor phobia, but we will save that for another post.
I had a dentist appointment today. The one thing that keeps me going to the dentist is my fear. I am so afraid of getting a cavity that I will not miss my 6 month check-up because I know that is a key part to good oral health. Usually, a week or two before my dentist appointment I start to examine my own teeth while brushing at night. I open my mouth, look way in the back to see if I can spot any black spots that might signify a cavity. Usually I can find something to be scared about. This time the blueberries I have been snacking on all summer have left some stains on my back molars, so I of course began to think that I was going to have a million cavities when I went to the dentist. Well, I didn't have a million cavities, but I did have one....and a tiny one at that.
Luckily it was surface enough that the dentist said they could try to fill it right then with out numbing me. I said "great", because the one thing I fear the most about cavities is the Novocaine shot. So they put me in the chair, take my blood pressure (which was something like 130/172...I think that's probably not the right reading I saw, but it was way high) and then the drilling begins. I did fine for first few drills. They were pretty much on the surface so I just felt a vibration. Then came the big one. I felt her push a little harder, meaning deeper, and I knew that I was going to feel something. When I kicked my right leg in the air, they could tell I had felt some pain. They asked me "do you want us to numb you?" I said "Well, are you going to have to do anything else like that again?" A quick check of my tooth and she said "no, I think we are pretty much done with the big spots". So I opted to continue to be a nervous wreck and let them finish. 5 minutes later I had cotton mouth like crazy, but I had managed to avoid the shot once again.
The first time this same thing happened I was a little girl...probably in 5th or 6th grade. I had gone for my cleaning and they found a cavity. It was a busy day, so they made me make another appointment to come back later in the week and have the cavity filled. That was torture. Knowing that in two days I had to go back to the dentist, and not just for a cleaning, made me cry myself to sleep that night. When the next appointment finally came, I walked back to the chair all by myself (they wouldn't let parent's back). I started to cry the moment I sat down in the throne of pain. The hygienist took some pity on me. She said that I could tell the doctor I was scared and he would be extra careful (yeah...riiiiiight). When the dentist finally came back and saw I was a sobbing, he asked me what I was afraid of. "The shot" I answered. He looked at my x-ray and said "this is pretty close to the surface. We can start without numbing you, and if you feel pain, we will stop and numb you." I felt slightly relieved and said ok. The same thing happened as today. Slow, easy surface drills first, then one gigantic deep push and I felt it. I squealed a bit, but the dentist said "that's ok, we're done anyways". so I avoided the shot once, and today I did it again.
Tomorrow I have an eye doctor appointment. Are there any shots at the eye doctor??
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Dave and I returned on Tuesday from our yearly summer trip to Arkansas to visit Mom and Dad Norvell. This is the third time we have traveled to Walnut Ridge in the summer, and both of us love going. Being at their home reminds me so much of being at my grandma Rie's house when I was a little girl. Very cozy, comfy, always good food, and fun backyard, and neat things to do. I have gone over the highlights of our trip in photos below. Enjoy!
We decided to take Dexter with us for our first big car trip with the dog. He did great and was well behaved at the Norvells house. Mom and Dad have a teacup poodle named Scout, and Dexter LOVED her, in both senses of the word. We had to shoo him away from Scout quite a few times, and if Scout got something, well then Dexter wanted it too, as the picture above shows.
Dad always cooks in his dutch ovens when we are there for a visit. This year, the menu included stuffed pork chops, squash casserole, and blackberry cobbler. I loaded the pictures wrong, so you get to see the "after" pics before the "before" pics. This is the cobbler, made from blackberries picked right on campus.
The squash casserole made from fresh garden grown squash.
And the Pork Chops!
Here's dad tending the ovens. He has three and cooked them with hot coals right on the pavement. So fun to watch and smell!
Here is the cobbler with the fresh berries before he put the lid on!
The raw chops stuffed with raisins, apples, cranberries, and nuts!
Here is the fabulous back porch. Dad is a supreme gardener and loves to make things grow. There are more plant varieties than the rain forest in the back yard, plus humming bird feeders and a garden ripe with produce.
Can you see the three pumpkins in this picture?
We took a day and drove up to Blanchard Springs and Caverns. The cavern, which we took an amazing tour through, is completely carved by this spring. It was beautiful and we had a great time exploring the cave. The pictures inside the cave were so dark I didn't bother posting any, but it was truly a sight to behold!
The waterfall into the spring.
Going up stream a little.
Dave and I on the observation deck to the spring. We went down and climbed some rocks next to the waterfall and took a few pictures in front of the fall, but they didn't turn out so well either. All in all, we had a great trip. Next summer though, Mom and Dad Norvell, I still want to go diamond mining!
We decided to take Dexter with us for our first big car trip with the dog. He did great and was well behaved at the Norvells house. Mom and Dad have a teacup poodle named Scout, and Dexter LOVED her, in both senses of the word. We had to shoo him away from Scout quite a few times, and if Scout got something, well then Dexter wanted it too, as the picture above shows.
Dad always cooks in his dutch ovens when we are there for a visit. This year, the menu included stuffed pork chops, squash casserole, and blackberry cobbler. I loaded the pictures wrong, so you get to see the "after" pics before the "before" pics. This is the cobbler, made from blackberries picked right on campus.
The squash casserole made from fresh garden grown squash.
And the Pork Chops!
Here's dad tending the ovens. He has three and cooked them with hot coals right on the pavement. So fun to watch and smell!
Here is the cobbler with the fresh berries before he put the lid on!
The raw chops stuffed with raisins, apples, cranberries, and nuts!
Here is the fabulous back porch. Dad is a supreme gardener and loves to make things grow. There are more plant varieties than the rain forest in the back yard, plus humming bird feeders and a garden ripe with produce.
Can you see the three pumpkins in this picture?
We took a day and drove up to Blanchard Springs and Caverns. The cavern, which we took an amazing tour through, is completely carved by this spring. It was beautiful and we had a great time exploring the cave. The pictures inside the cave were so dark I didn't bother posting any, but it was truly a sight to behold!
The waterfall into the spring.
Going up stream a little.
Dave and I on the observation deck to the spring. We went down and climbed some rocks next to the waterfall and took a few pictures in front of the fall, but they didn't turn out so well either. All in all, we had a great trip. Next summer though, Mom and Dad Norvell, I still want to go diamond mining!Friday, August 08, 2008
For the sake of wasting a few minutes and pleasing my sister-in-law...
The Rules: Answer the questions using only one word. Then tag three others.
1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Your significant other? stud
3. Your hair? growing
4. Your mother? professional
5. Your father? nature-lover
6. Your favorite thing? chapstick
7. Your dream last night? gone
8 Your favorite drink? pepper (take the hint)
9. Your dream/goal? graduate
10. The room you’re in? bears
11. Your hobby?cooking
12. Your fear? fattness ( I know, I'm lame)
13. What do you want to be in 6 years? mother
14. What you’re not? athletic
15. Muffins? bran
16. One of your wish list items? Vacation
17. Where you grew up?Grapevine
18. The last thing you did? DRIVE!!!!!!
19. What are you wearing? grubs
20. Favorite gadget? zester (it's brand new and super cool)
21. Your pets? handful
22. Your computer? hodge-podge
23. Your mood? lethargic
24. Missing someone?always
25. Your car? red!
26. Something you’re not wearing? socks
27. Favorite store? Banana
28. Like someone? always
29. Your favorite color? grass
30. When is the last time you laughed? earlier
31. Last time you cried? Tuesday
I tag Robin R., Rachel V., and my mom!
1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Your significant other? stud
3. Your hair? growing
4. Your mother? professional
5. Your father? nature-lover
6. Your favorite thing? chapstick
7. Your dream last night? gone
8 Your favorite drink? pepper (take the hint)
9. Your dream/goal? graduate
10. The room you’re in? bears
11. Your hobby?cooking
12. Your fear? fattness ( I know, I'm lame)
13. What do you want to be in 6 years? mother
14. What you’re not? athletic
15. Muffins? bran
16. One of your wish list items? Vacation
17. Where you grew up?Grapevine
18. The last thing you did? DRIVE!!!!!!
19. What are you wearing? grubs
20. Favorite gadget? zester (it's brand new and super cool)
21. Your pets? handful
22. Your computer? hodge-podge
23. Your mood? lethargic
24. Missing someone?always
25. Your car? red!
26. Something you’re not wearing? socks
27. Favorite store? Banana
28. Like someone? always
29. Your favorite color? grass
30. When is the last time you laughed? earlier
31. Last time you cried? Tuesday
I tag Robin R., Rachel V., and my mom!
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